When Food Becomes Relief: The Pattern That Kept Me Stuck for Decades

For a long time, all of my relief came from food or alcohol.

I didn’t know that’s what I was doing at first.
I just knew that eating—or drinking—made things feel quieter.

The happy emotions?
Those I shared freely.

But the anxious, scared, angry, and fearful ones?
I numbed them. Stored them. Packed them away inside my body.

And my body kept the score.

When Coping Turns Into a Pattern

As the decades passed, the pattern became harder to ignore.

My weight climbed.
My health suffered.
And no matter how many “nutrition changes” I tried, I stayed stuck on the same exhausting roller coaster.

Here’s what finally became clear:

Until I understood how I was using food and alcohol, no plan—no matter how clean—was going to save me.

Because weight loss doesn’t start with food.

It starts with thoughts.

So does wellness.

Healing Begins One Thought at a Time

True, whole-person wellness isn’t something you force from the outside in.
It begins from the inside out.

For me, learning how to deal with emotions was an evolution—and at first, I had no idea what I was doing.

Everything began to shift after reading Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I committed—consistently and imperfectly—to changing the way I thought.

And when my wellness journey finally turned a corner, it wasn’t because I found the perfect plan.

My thinking led the way.

Making Peace With My Body

Healing my body required another mindset shift.

I had to stop treating my body like the enemy.

For years, I hadn’t taken true responsibility for caring for it.
I fed it poison—both physical and mental.
Low-quality food. Low-level thoughts. Shame on repeat.

It took intentional thinking to remove the poison, make better choices consistently, and stay long enough to see results.

And once my gut truly began healing, I started to understand my body differently.

The Gut, Inflammation, and the Weight That Wouldn’t Budge

For some people, gut healing is straightforward.
They remove sugar, ditch processed foods, add in nourishment—and their body responds quickly.

That wasn’t my story.

My weight loss stalled until inflammation in my gut was addressed. Once the imbalance was corrected with smart supplementation, something remarkable happened.

As the inflammation released in my gut, it released throughout my body.

And the weight followed.

This Wasn’t Fast—and That Matters

This wasn’t quick.

Even after 100% commitment, it took 11 months to release weight accumulated over 43 years.

But then something almost surreal happened.

Over the span of about three months, my body let go.
The fat released.
And for the first time in my life, I reached my goal weight. And I wasn’t a size 8 like I’d hoped, I was a size 4. This happened at age 43-44. I couldn’t believe it. And seriously, I am EXTRA when it comes to everything weightloss. Maybe you are too.

This happened not through force, but through healing.

Life on the Other Side of Suppression

Today, I take care of my thinking, my emotions, and my gut health—daily.

I eat what I want for the most part.
But I no longer use food or alcohol to cope.

I don’t numb emotions with snacking.
I don’t say yes to random indulgence out of habit.

I plan indulgence—intentionally—for meaningful moments.

Because every day no longer needs to feel like a “special occasion” just to survive it.

Food now supports a body that’s thriving.

And at 47, my body looks and feels better than it has since I was 16.

The Real Takeaway

Healing doesn’t come from control.
It comes from awareness.

When you stop using food to escape your emotions—and start listening to what your body is asking for—everything changes.

One thought at a time.
One choice at a time.
From the inside out.

If you're ready, start here.

If you're ready, start here.

If you’re ready to stop numbing and start healing, begin here.

My free Inner Critic Exercise will help you identify the thought you’re agreeing with, question it with compassion, and return to truth—so you can respond instead of react.

Download the Inner Critic Exercise (free) → I’ll send it straight to your inbox.