Turning Point
Once You Notice the Thought, You Get to Choose
After you notice the thought and get curious—
after you’ve asked:
Why is this here?
Where did it come from?
Is this actually true?
You reach the most important moment in the process:
You get to decide how to respond.
Not by bypassing.
Not by shaming.
Not by pretending the thought isn’t there.
But by choosing a response that puts you back in charge.
Here are psychologically sound ways to do that.
1. Dismiss It (Simple. Powerful.)
Sometimes the most effective response is the quietest one.
What this sounds like:
“Not helpful.”
“I’ve already examined this.”
“I don’t need you right now.”
You’re not arguing.
You’re not explaining.
I’ve also been known to ‘swat’ a thought out of my ear. It’s uncanny how it can seem like thoughts are whispered to us - they just pop up for no known reason.
You’re closing the door.
This works best for thoughts you’ve already worked through or recognized many times.
2. Reframe It (Truth Replacement)
Instead of letting the thought write the story, you rewrite it—accurately.
Example:
Thought: “I always mess things up.”
Reframe: “I’ve made mistakes, and I’m learning how to do this better.”
This isn’t toxic positivity.
It’s honest, grounded thinking.
3. Thank It—Then Release It (Surprisingly Powerful)
Some thoughts exist because they once tried to protect you.
What this looks like:
“I see that you’re trying to keep me safe.”
“Thank you—but I don’t need this strategy anymore.”
This response lowers internal resistance and dissolves shame.
Especially helpful for:
fear-based thoughts
hyper-vigilance
perfectionism
4. Set a Boundary With It (Identity Work)
Treat the thought like a character that needs limits.
Examples:
“You don’t get to speak to me like that.”
“You can observe, but you don’t get to decide.”
“You’re not in charge.”
“I’m driving this car (these thoughts). Get in the back. Or get in the trunk.”
This separates who you are from what you think—and that separation changes everything.
5. Postpone It (Containment)
Some thoughts are loud because they want attention—not because they need immediate action.
Try this:
Write the thought down.
Say, “I’ll revisit this later.”
Return to the present task.
Set a time on your calendar to worry about it later. See if it matters when the time comes.
This teaches your nervous system that you control timing.
6. Investigate It Once—Then Close the Case
Endless analysis keeps recurring thoughts alive. I love this one.
Instead:
Journal through it fully one time.
Write your conclusion.
Refer back to that conclusion when it resurfaces.
Example:
“I’ve already explored this thought. My answer hasn’t changed.”
7. Replace the Thought With a Chosen Action
Sometimes the most effective response isn’t cognitive—it’s behavioral.
Examples:
Take one small step forward
Do the thing anyway
Shift focus to what’s in your control
Put the 5 Second Rule from Mel Robbins in effect. POWERFUL!
Action often quiets the inner critic faster than reasoning.
8. Invite Compassion
Some thoughts show up when you’re:
tired
hungry
overstimulated
emotionally raw
uncomfortable going into a social setting
Ask instead:
“What do I need right now?”
“Am I asking too much of myself in this moment?”
“What’s the most and best that can come of this?”
This turns the exercise from correction into care.
The Inner Critic loses its power not when it disappears—but when it no longer leads.
Change happens when you recognize the voice, question it, and choose a different response.
If you haven’t taken the Inner Critic Exercise, begin there. It’s designed to help you practice this turning point in real time.
For in depth explanation and more how to, the Inner Critic + Mindset Deep Dive will help you take this work further—into your choices, habits, and daily life.
